Day 18~ Saving/Broken/Shattered

Matthew 8:29

“What do you want with us, Son of God?” they shouted.

 “Have you come here to torture us before the appointed time?”

A reporter on the ground in Aleppo posted a video message on the internet. He was uncertain if this would be his last communication. They were promised ceasefire and evacuation this morning yet it seemed neither would happen. He felt certain that torture was in his future. He knew not if they would be tortured for hours or days or if death would be waiting at the end. 

The spirit of the people of Aleppo is broken and shattered. They have nothing left... no food, no water, no one they can trust. Surely if the Son of God himself arrived on the streets of Aleppo, they'd ask "Have you come to torture us?" Isn't this all they are good for now, an example to others in the travesty of war? What more could anyone else possibly want with them when they have nothing left?

The people of Aleppo have been heavy on my mind so I suspect that is why I see them in every passage. We need to do something, even from this far away, that says we aren't here to torture.

Dear brothers and sisters of Aleppo,

We see you.

We hear you.

Your lives are worth saving.

We can't all show up wearing white helmets to dig through the rubble but there are boots on the ground doing exactly this. Please consider supporting The White Helmets as they work to rescue Syrians regardless of what side they have taken in this civil war. Americans who claim "all lives matter" could learn from this organization.

Also consider supporting organizations that work to welcome refugees with open arms. Refugees are not enemies to be feared. They are being forced from their homes, forced to leave behind everything they know and love, all on the off chance that they may get to live to see tomorrow. We should be inviting them into our country, our states, our cities, our churches, and our very own homes.

Day 17 ~ Comfort/Conspire

Jude 20-21

But you, dear friends, by building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, 

keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.

Day 16 ~ Welcome/Visceral

Psalm 42:3-4

My tears have been my food

    day and night,

while people say to me all day long,

    “Where is your God?”

These things I remember

    as I pour out my soul:

how I used to go to the house of God

    under the protection of the Mighty One[a]

with shouts of joy and praise

    among the festive throng.

My tears have been my food...

I've been avoiding the news to avoid hearing more about what awaits us in January. In doing so, I've been completely out of touch with world affairs, specifically in Aleppo.

Upon reading the latest news out of Syria, visceral is the only way to explain my reaction. How can we as human beings sit back and allow this to happen? We are watching it unfold in real time through the tweets of children and the cries of their mothers. A whole city of people will no longer exist. Women are committing suicide to avoid their inevitable rape and murder at the hands of soldiers battling to control what is left of this historic city.

Where is your God?

Welcome to Aleppo.

A friend informed me that Coptic Christians are walking the streets of Aleppo reciting the Nicene Creed. May we all add this to our daily prayers in solidarity.

We believe in one God,

the Father, the Almighty,

maker of heaven and earth,

of all that is, seen and unseen.

We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,

the only Son of God,

eternally begotten of the Father,

God from God, Light from Light,

true God from true God,

begotten, not made,

of one Being with the Father.

Through him all things were made.

For us and for our salvation

he came down from heaven:

by the power of the Holy Spirit

he became incarnate from the Virgin Mary,

and was made man.

For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate;

he suffered death and was buried.

On the third day he rose again

in accordance with the Scriptures;

he ascended into heaven

and is seated at the right hand of the Father.

He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead,

and his kingdom will have no end.

We believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life,

who proceeds from the Father and the Son.

With the Father and the Son he is worshiped and glorified.

He has spoken through the Prophets.

We believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church.

We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.

We look for the resurrection of the dead,

and the life of the world to come. Amen.

These things I remember as I pour out my soul...

Day 15 ~ Joy/Hope(less)

Matthew 11:3

"Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?"

Day 14 ~ Hospitality/This/The

Matthew 3:10

The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.

Day 13 ~ Family/(Dis)comfort

2 Peter 3:11-13

Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? 

You ought to live holy and godly lives as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming. 

That day will bring about the destruction of the heavens by fire, and the elements will melt in the heat. 

But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, 

where righteousness dwells.

(Dis)comfort.

I live in constant, paralyzing, anxiety at the thought of my own discomfort.

I dis people who could possibly bring me comfort because I worry that our differing values systems will cause me great discomfort. I feel old. I feel like a prude. Sometimes I feel like a parent when I should be a friend. Sometimes I feel like the one that has to be the wet blanket on choices that could lead to undesirable outcomes.

Shouldn't we live holy lives?

(Dis)comfort.

It causes me to stay inside, to reject invitations, to sacrifice friendships all so I can avoid discomfort.

This isn't limited to social groups. I do this to family too.

 Change brings discomfort. Celebrating our first Christmas without our matriarch is already bringing too much discomfort. What do you mean we are changing locations and doing things completely different? My desire to keep comfort when there has been too much change instead brings alienation. 

We all deal with our discomfort in our own way. 

Yet, I cannot bring myself to step out of my shell and dis comfort to take a chance.

Day 12 ~ Homeless/At(one)ment

2 Peter 3:9

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. 

Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, 

but everyone to come to repentance.

Content coming.... I fell behind and I am playing catchup.

I'm OCD for chronology so I need the placeholder.

Day 11 ~ Purity/(Out)rage

Matthew 12:34

“The poor and needy search for water,

    but there is none;

    their tongues are parched with thirst.

But I the Lord will answer them;

    I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them.

Content coming.... I fell behind and I am playing catchup.

I'm OCD for chronology so I need the placeholder.

Day 10 ~ Expectation/Restless

Isaiah 41:17

“The poor and needy search for water,

    but there is none;

    their tongues are parched with thirst.

But I the Lord will answer them;

    I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them.

Content coming.... I fell behind and I am playing catchup.
I'm OCD for chronology so I need the placeholder.

Day 9 ~ Prepare/God (Damn) It/Violation

Isaiah 24:5

The earth is defiled by its people;

    they have disobeyed the laws,

violated the statutes

    and broken the everlasting covenant.

Content coming.... I fell behind and I am playing catchup.
I'm OCD for chronology so I need the placeholder.

Day 8 ~ Love/or Whatever

Matthew 3:12

His winnowing fork is in his hand, and he will clear his threshing floor,
gathering his wheat into the barn and burning up the chaff with unquenchable fire.

Content coming.... I fell behind and I am playing catchup.

I'm OCD for chronology so I need the placeholder.

Day 7 ~ Breathe/For Fuck's Sake/For Pete's Sake

John 1:21

They asked him, “Then who are you? Are you Elijah?”

He said, “I am not.”

“Are you the Prophet?”

He answered, “No.”

I imagine this happened to John the Baptist often:

*breathe*

*mutters under his breath* "For fuck's sake, again?"

*sigh*

"No. It's not me. I'm not the one you seek."

He was doing important work. But someone more important was expected. That had to bring mixed emotions. He's been here, doing good, making an impact on his community and all anyone cares about is the location and vocation of his "little cousin." 

I can relate.

I find myself muttering "for fuck's sake" under my breath every time I hear how a millennial will save us all, how they are doing such good work when Gen X has been here long before doing all the same good works.

Now, I'm not so much comparing Jesus to a millennial as I am saying that John the Baptist could be the patron saint of Gen X. We are here, we are still relevant, and we are willing to lift up those who also have much to give. We recognize that salvation will never come from just one man unless that man is Jesus. The rest of us, all of us, need to keep telling Jesus' story while doing all the good we can, by all the means we can, in all the ways we can, in all the places we can, at all the times we can, to all the people we can, as long as ever we can.

Day 6 ~ Rejoice/Yearn

Psalm 72:4

May he defend the afflicted among the people

    and save the children of the needy;

    may he crush the oppressor.

I've been struggling with this post since Friday.

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be yearning for or rejoicing over?

I do yearn for the oppressors to be crushed and the needy to be saved (not just their children because, as I keep hearing, all lives matter), and that ALL people (not just the afflicted) will be defended.

I need context for this verse. I'm not a biblical scholar but this seems so selective in his help.

I don't feel like rejoicing at the moment... I yearn for a happier time, post-defending, post-saving, post-crushing.

Day 5 ~ Make Room/Bloody/Stained

Isaiah 4:4

The Lord will wash away the filth of the women of Zion; he will cleanse the bloodstains from Jerusalem by a spirit of judgement and a spirit of fire.

I've struggled with this verse. I don't feel filthy and bloodstained. 

I reached out to others* on this same Advent journey and they draw strength from being a bloodstained woman of Zion. They draw strength from the female body's bloody, messy, inconvenient ability to bring forth life. This is NOT where I find my strength. There is so much more to me than my ability to usher life into the world.

So, I had to dig deeper, make room if you will, for a different way this verse can speak to me.

If we instead view filth as sin - our pride, our idolatry, our vanity - then this begins to make more sense. I am covered with the stains of these. Now imagine the blood of Jerusalem as the oppression and cruelty we see in the world today. I would love to make room for the Lord to come down and rid us of hatred of those who don't look like us, of violence towards those protecting what is sacred, of the pride that makes us turn our heads and say "This doesn't affect me so it's not my problem."

Lord, make room in our hearts for your mercy towards the filth and stains we carry and that we see on our brothers and sisters.

*If you would like to read another take on this verse, check out Dr. Tracy Radosevic's interpretation here. 

Day 4 ~ Patience/STFU/Shut.Up

Matthew 24:31

And he will send his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other.

Patience? Trumpets? Shut the fuck up?

Sounds a lot like parenting in my house.

I've raised my own strong, opinionated, independent, trumpet playing angel. Over the past 18 years, it has a required the patience of a saint peppered with more than a few exasperated cries to just shut the fuck up!

Do you think God feels that way about us?

We are down here with our opinions and our causes, for this candidate, against this issue or ideal. Does He want us to just shut the fuck up and listen to His voice of reason? Arguing the semantics of a long-finished war with my son, the resident history buff, is no more important or productive than arguing the merits (or lack thereof) of any politician. These things do not matter in the grand scheme of our spiritual life. They are merely noise that distracts us from learning to love each other better. 

Shut the fuck up and listen to what God is saying.

Day 3 ~ Thankful/Fr(act)ured

Genesis 9:15

I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. 

Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life.

In Japanese culture, there is an artform called "Kintsukuroi," which means "golden repair." When something is broken, fractured, or cracked, the spaces are filled with gold. It becomes part of the story of the object. 

God's covenant with humans in Genesis is like gold in our fractured souls. We carry his covenant, his promise, like shining bits of gold in the most broken and hurting parts of us. If we learn to see and honor the beauty in our own imperfections then hopefully we can learn to see the same in our sisters and brothers. We are all beautifully cracked, flawed, and imperfect, which allows room for the divine to shine through us. When we honor the divine in everyone then we cannot sit idly by while the divine suffers of hunger, or at the hands of brutality, or on the sacred grounds of Standing Rock.

The divine in me honors and gives thanks for the divine in you.

Namaste.

Day 2 ~ Longing/Dam(n)/Drought

Damn.

Noah longed for 40 days for dry land and I can't even make it to day two of Advent?

What would I do if forced to disconnect from the world for 40 days, to focus on my faith, to spend all my time with my family, to tend to God's creations? I think I'd be longing for a private room and a stiff drink. My drought would be that of a dry soul instead of dry land.

In a world where a 20 minute software update leaves us longing for that time lost from our day, would any of us have the faith of Noah to pause for 40 days to keep from drowning?

Day 1 ~ Hope/F*ck/Rend

Hope/F*ck/Rend

Matthew 24:44 (NIV)

So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.

I had no idea what "rend" meant so it took the focus of today's devotion. It is a verb defined as to "tear something into two or more pieces." The cry from others following this devotion seems to be that God needs to rend the heavens and come to earth but we are told in the verse we cannot know the hour. We cannot will his presence because we feel it is time. 

Knowing the meaning, instead I feel that we have rent our country with the hate, vitriol, and greed that is spewed daily in the media (national, local AND social). Sometimes all you can seemingly do is scream "FUCK!" It's guttural. It's emotional. It is the only word that can convey the ugly despair a lot of us feel as 2016 comes to a close. I owe my mom money for her cuss jar for saying the word. But it's real. 

My photo prompt for today is "hope" and I am hard pressed to find it. Where is the hope that should come with the promises of Advent? Where is the hope in a year that has taken my Grandmother and left us with a president-elect who is the opposite of everything my Grandmother exuded?

God, fuck, please, rend my heart to let the hope find it's way out.